i feel horrible when i say this: but i am so F***NG glad you moved away, far away to other side of the country. i don’t want to maintain close contact with you anymore, but i hope we remain good friends.
this is cringe, but i finally realised i was way too emotionally dependent on you by listening to taylor swift songs that implied a toxic relationship. and i was like, huh, this is not healthy for a 3 year friendship.
and having a massive crush on you didn’t help one bit.
i know you openly admitted that your fatal flaw was putting way too little effort into relationships, and that you were trying really hard to be my friend in my worst times, but i guess it just wasn’t enough. we led way too different lives for you to even understand what i went through during my anxiety attacks or when my family fought.
i realised i was living life and going to school everyday and breathing just for YOU, never for me. i felt 10x more anxious when you were here.
you have no idea how much i cried when i finally admitted my way-too-much-emotional-dependency-on-you to my sister. i felt as if a million pound weight had a been lifted off my shoulders. i finally felt liberated and free.
i told one of our friends about this… ordeal, by the way. the other one who had a crush on you.
i hope you have a good life.
letters of stardust 